Evi Huynh’s Legal Blog

This is a legal blog because the incident actually took place in a courtroom.  Earl Simmons, known better to most of you as Hip Hop artist and actor DMX recently appeared in a Miami-Dade County court with his attorney to get released on bond in regards to pending charges in Arizona.  The artist has had numerous run-ins with the law so this is not a new experience for him.  Actually, Simmons spends more time in court than most judges.   

DMX, who showed up to his hearing in handcuffs and leg chains, stood before the judge to see if was going to get out.  The presiding judge Lawrence Schwartz decided that he would not release the artist on bond.  The star of movies such as “Belly,” “Romeo Must Die” and “Exit Wounds” was not very pleased by the decision and dropped an F-Bomb on the judge as he was being led away. 

Judge Schwartz responded by telling Simmons that it was not the first time he had that sort of language.  He also informed him that he hadn’t done much to help his cause.  I was pretty surprised.  The judge actually was calm about the matter and handled it a lot better than Simmons did.  He even joked with the rapper’s attorney and told him that his client was more than welcome to come back into the courtroom and repeat what he said.  The attorney declined.

While many hip hop artists of the gangster genre are accused of not living the Thug Life, this can’t be said about Simmons.  He is truly living the dream.  Unfortunately he is living it from a jail cell right now.

As a lawyer, it is my job to educate my clients on the courtroom process.  The first rule, whether a plaintiff or defendant, is do not drop an F-Bomb on a judge.   Actually it is not a rule, just common sense.

The residents of Belfair, Washington have decided to take a stand.  They have banded together to shut down a local drive-thru coffee shop.  It is not because they feel a loyalty to the Washington based Starbucks, but rather the attire of the baristas of this establishment.  This coffee shop doesn’t just serve up a tasty cup of Joe, they do it while wearing virtually nothing but a smile.

Espresso Gone Wild had previously opened in another town.  The baristas are clad in skimpy panties and pasties.  Business has been good for Espresso Gone Wild.  According to one satisfied customer, the coffee is good, the baristas are nice looking and they have been very friendly.  However, the residents of Belfair don’t seem to find their customer service very refreshing.

Many of the residents were offended by what they considered to be a Drive Thru Strip Joint.  Also, Espresso Gone Wild has been plagued by vandals egging their stand.  Many in the community are outraged by the barely covered baristas.  They were able to get the stand in their area shut down.

Personally, I find this to be hilarious.  The idea that sex sells is not a new concept.  You see it when you go into restaurants, hair salons, cleaning services and bars.  This is not a new concept.  Now granted only wearing pasties is a bit excessive to some but personally if the nipple is covered, isn’t that technically legal?  I guess it has to do with the each local jurisdiction.  I find it interesting that you can show cleavage with no problem.  To the best of my knowledge that are no cleavage laws.  However the problem seems to be the underside of the breast.  What is it that makes the underside of the breast bad and the top side respectable?

My question is how far will this trend continue?  Will there be sexy oil change places and sexy convenience stores?  Will home improvement stores start dressing in nothing but an apron?  Where will it end?  I’ll be honest.  When I go to get my morning coffee, I’m going because I need the caffeine to wake up.  I really don’t need to see a bunch of strippers, err I mean baristas at 7 a.m. 

As I do every morning when I get to work, I look at the various news websites to get an idea of what is going on in the world.  I was particularly interested this morning because I had previously read a story about the possibility of compassionate release for convicted killer Susan Atkins.  Atkins was one of the members of Charles Manson’s “Family” who was convicted for multiple murders, the most famous being Sharon Tate, the pregnant wife of movie director Roman Polanski. 

Her release was being considered because Atkins has brain cancer.  She is paralyzed on one side and had one of her legs amputated.  While I do not wish to see anyone suffer and I don’t think she is a physical threat to anyone, part of me that was relieved to know that she had been denied.

When I was 11-years-old, I went to go stay with some family friends for a couple of weeks on vacation.  One day while bored, I decided to find a book to read.  I came across “Helter Skelter”, the book about the Manson family murders.  I really didn’t know what it was but it looked interesting.  I read the book for about six hours straight and finished it in one day.  It was not a very good idea.  The book and especially the photos scared me to death.  I started having nightmares.  Even though I was a young kid living in Louisiana, I was convinced that they were going to find me. 

My situation wasn’t helped when my parents found out that I had read the book.  They were none too happy about that.  However, they did manage to calm me down and assure me that I was safe.  The thought of Manson or any of his followers getting parole always concerned me.  Many of them have claimed religious conversion and are model inmates. 

I am not scared of many things but they did and do scare me.  To this day, it is difficult to look at a photo of them and not have a chill run down my spine.   I saw the most recent photo of Susan Atkins with this morning’s story.  She is now 60-years-old.  However, she still has that same look that she had when younger.  The eyes tell the story.  They are still scary. 

Eight gold medals in one Olympics.  Fourteen gold medals in two Olympics and let’s not forget the two bronze medals.  Of course I am talking about Olympic Phenom Michael Phelps. 

When I first heard about his quest to win eight gold medals in one Olympics, I was skeptical.  The only person to win seven was Mark Spitz and that was in the 1972 Munich Olympics.  No one had done it before or after so it was a pretty daunting task.  You also had to take into account that three of the events were relay races so Phelps was at the mercy of his teammates doing well.  One slip up and the dream could have been dashed.

But he pulled it off.  This guy has 16 Olympic medals, 14 of them gold.  If Michael Phelps became his own country, he would be in fifth place in Olympic gold medals and would have more total medals than 53 other countries at this point in the games. 

His hard work and excellence are about to be rewarded.  I’m sure a Wheaties box is in the planning and sponsors will be lining up to have him endorse their products.  Here is a little advice.  Take the money and run.  Endorse everything you can get your hands on.  Your window of opportunity is short.  Even though what you have done is monumental, people will unfortunately forget.  When Mark Spitz won his seven gold medals, he was a huge celebrity.  Now if you mention his name, you have to give an explanation of what he accomplished.  I don’t know why that is but it is.  That is just the way we are. 

I like Phelps a lot.  I don’t know him but his public persona is very good.  He seems to be a genuine person who has not become jaded by the trappings of fame.  There is one thing that worries me.  Have you seen this guy eat?  His daily diet is about 14,000 calories.  Now granted he burns it off with no problem while training but if he dials back the training, watch out.  I can just see him when he goes on the rubber chicken circuit after the game.  Mr. Phelps, what would you like to order?  I’ll have eight chickens, four pizzas and three gallons of milk.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  I don’t want to see him on some show five years later where he weighs 300 lbs. and has spent all of his money on Ding Dongs. 

There are several reasons why I don’t like flying.  But this one tops my list…for now…According to an article in CNN.com, U.S. service members could be charged anywhere from $15 to $250 to bring extra bags. 

When military members travel, they have to carry a lot of heavy gear, boots and equipment which many times go over the weight requirements of what a normal passenger would be allotted.  While the airlines do make some weight concessions for service members, they decided they will charge them if they are over the limits.  I am happy to see the Patriots of the airlines are treating the members of the Armed Forces with such consideration.  

According to Tim Wagner, a spokesperson for American Airlines, troops are allowed 190 lbs. of baggage free of charge.  “If they pay, they get reimbursed, so at the end they don’t pay a dime.”  Now this is a very interesting quote on a number of reasons.  Mr. Wagner is making the assumption that the average military member has up to $250 to throw down for extra baggage charges.  He also claims that they can be reimbursed for their charges.  He is making a huge assumption that this will happen in a timely manner.  He is also very liberal in spending tax payer’s money which as a tax payer I appreciate his fiscal responsibility. 

As a lawyer, I appreciate that our troops protect us domestically and abroad so I can do my job and live my life with relative freedom.  I am sure there are a lot of other people the airlines can gouge.  Why not leave the troops out of it?